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In2 minds

Welcome to my blog page, called In2 minds because that's what I was in when I started it!
Snippets that I hope you might find interesting, fun or helpful to do with mental health and well-being, and sometimes not!

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Mindfulness in school - should it really be used to demand a certain behaviour?

26/2/2017

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Mindfulness continues to be of growing interest, and more and more people from all walks of life are beginning to recognise just how important this form of mental keep fit / first aid is. And one place where mindfulness is a growing industry is in education.
 
There’s recently been a clip, I think from Radio 4, posted around Facebook of children (6 and 7 year olds) trying to describe what mindfulness is all about when they have been taught it in school. However, it appears from this clip that these young children were being taught mindfulness largely as a tool enabling them to work better, although the words ‘relaxed’ and ‘calm’ were mentioned too. I personally think this is a very precarious school of thought, after all the essence of mindfulness involves no aims or goals.
I know that some people are wary of mindfulness because they have deduced (wrongly) that it disempowers people (employees especially), that it’s almost a form of subtle mind control – they might think that the attitude of acceptance means resignation; they might imagine that the attitude of trust means blind faith; they might think that the attitude of non-judgement means that they have to be completely passive when things are not going well. But again this is all very far from what mindfulness is all about. And I think it’s worrying that this seems to be running alongside the notion outlined above that mindfulness can be used in order to get children to work.
There is a great quote that I often regurgitate in my training session on working with children. It’s from
www.thegreatergood.berkeley.edu:
 
“Although it may be tempting to use mindfulness as a disciplinary tool, it should not be used to demand a certain behaviour. It inherently includes the quality of acceptance.”
 
In other words, mindfulness should not be used as a way to get children to be quiet and get on with their work (especially when they’re perhaps still very young as the children in the video clip were). Instead, it accepts where the child is, in their own experience, right now, with all that that entails. And sometimes that’s not easy to deal with. They might be feeling upset, bewildered, frightened or conversely excited, full of energy, even hyperactive.
 
There have also been articles and video clips of schools in America using mindfulness sessions as an alternative to detentions. This again, I believe, is approaching things from completely the wrong angle. Mindfulness should ideally be taught when things are going right, not when things go wrong.
 
Yes, of course, I believe mindfulness should be an essential part of school life and it could be a game changer in allowing children to understand how their minds work, observing their thought processes and their reactions to situations. It also enables them to be more creative, observant, compassionate and resilient. But this all comes as a natural by-product, as does the ability to concentrate more successfully on the work they are expected to complete. As such, of course it should be an integral part of school life. But it should not, in my opinion, be utilised as that disciplinary tool. Mindfulness is so much more than that.


As a tutor for Mindfulness Now, Rachel shares a range of different techniques for teaching mindfulness to children and teenagers. For more information please visit the Mindfulness Now website
She also uses mindfulness strategies, along with hypnotherapy and coaching, with children and teenagers and their families, as well as adults in a private clinical therapy setting. For more information, please get in touch:
rmbhypnotherapy@aol.com
07733 839 591 – Rachel’s mobile
0121 444 1110 - Central England Therapy Centre, Kings Heath

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5 things to remember when introducing children (and adults) to mindfulness.

31/1/2017

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During this last week I was asked why anyone should do mindfulness with children.
Earlier that same day, there had been a news report which stated that 50% of all mental health problems are established by the age of 14 (
www.mentalhealth.org.uk). Question answered I think.
 
Mindfulness is an effective way of helping anyone be more emotionally resilient. But it’s not all about sitting down with our eyes closed – in fact, children often respond in a far better way if this is not part of the plan, at least in the early days of their mindfulness experience.
Here are five very quick tips that you might like to remember in order for any mindfulness teaching of youngsters to be effective and enable them to become more emotionally resilient:
 
1. The most important! As with any teaching, it has to be FUN, otherwise what’s the point?! We all know that we learn best when we’re fully engaged, when we find something interesting, when it makes us smile. Mindfulness should not be a dry, dull subject – for anyone! Employing different ways of stimulating their interest, will enable children to make the most of their mindful experience. So utilise their own interests, sing the song, paint the picture, imagine the story and bring laughter into the equation too.
 
2. Remember that young children won’t necessarily have the vocabulary to describe how they might be feeling. Using words like ‘relaxed’, ‘stressed’, ‘calm’, and ‘tense’ are second nature to adults, but perhaps not so much for children. It’s therefore perhaps a good idea to have props available in order to help. I love the analogy of uncooked spaghetti for feeling tense, and cooked spaghetti for feeling relaxed.
 
3. To some degree or another, children are used to listening to stories, so make use of this skill by employing metaphors and imagination. It’s a proven way to tap into a deeper level of consciousness. A point can be made much more easily, and much memorably too, if it’s put across in the form of a short story. Children (and adults) will automatically make the story fit to the way they see the world, and it will therefore be much more effective. Visual metaphors are great – I often use a jar full of glittery water to explain how mindfulness works.
 
4. Whenever possible, bring into play all of the senses. Mindfulness is about bringing ourselves back to the present moment, time after time after time. And one of the easiest ways to do this is by focusing on our senses. Things like cooking, art and craft activities, or looking after a pet are all great ways of enabling us to experience life in the present moment.
 
5. And when you think the time is right, bring a focus to the child’s breathing, again remembering that suggestions we give might sound quite confusing to a young child. Here we can employ a myriad of techniques in order to help, for example, sitting their favourite teddy bear on their tummy when they’re lying down – if they’re breathing deeply teddy will rise into the air, but if they’re breathing from their chest teddy will stay put. Seaside windmills too are great for teaching the fact that they can have some degree of control over their own breathing in response to feeling anxious or upset.
 
If you’d like more information on using mindfulness with children then please get in touch.
 
As a tutor for Mindfulness Now, Rachel shares a range of different techniques for teaching mindfulness to children and teenagers. For more information please visit M
indfulness Now website
She also uses mindfulness strategies, along with hypnotherapy and coaching, with children and their families in a private clinical therapy setting. For more information, please get in touch:
rmbhypnotherapy@aol.com
07733 839 591 – Rachel’s mobile
0121 444 1110 - Central England Therapy Centre, Kings Heath


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A few things to remember for a calmer, more balanced New Year

29/12/2016

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Feeling a bit stressed about the onset of 2017?
 
Still getting over the stresses of Christmas?
 
Have a read through these nine things and they could just help you to deal with everything that’s thrown at you in the coming year!
 
1. Recognise the story you give yourself about your own life and the things that happen in it. As much as you can, notice yourself acting out the main character’s role. Notice all the other characters and scenarios that take centre stage in the story of your life.
Then take a step back.
See your life as a member of the audience would see it from down there in the stalls. And notice how being able to step back and put a little distance between you and the story you create can help to put things a little more into perspective.
Also notice the story you create around others in your life, and the fact that they will all have slightly varying (or extremely different!) versions of you and their own lives. We all see things the way we believe. And what we believe is our own truth, the story we create, whether we like it or not. That’s why, often, we all deal with the same things in completely different ways, even perhaps creating completely different memories!
 
2. Acknowledge that this thing called life isn’t always a bed of roses. Stuff happens, things change, people move on and often we try to fight against this. But in the end we know it’s futile. We can never be fully in control of what happens because the future is unknowable. ‘You can’t stop the waves but you can learn how to surf’(Jon Kabat-Zinn). Everyone’s life is made up of ups and downs. We’re not the only ones who have to deal with getting hurt, losing our job, illness, bereavement. But, at the same time, it’s good to remember that we all experience happiness, joy, relaxation, calm and peace at some time in our lives too.
 
3. Remember that life is made up of emotion and we experience these emotions as good or bad or somewhere in between. Most of the time, most of us are happy enough somewhere in between to some degree or another. The trouble arises a) when we’re really happy - because we’ll try and cling onto this happiness at all costs and b) when we’re feeling really low - because we think it’s never going to be any different and we’ll always be this sad. At these times, both happy and sad, perhaps it’s a good idea to try and remember that emotions too constantly change, moment by moment, day by day, even year by year. Things pass, whether happy or sad.
 
4. Be gentle with yourself. So life is full of ups and downs, good and bad situations, things are constantly changing and, like everyone else, you’re doing the best you can just to get through. So try to start treating yourself as your new best friend. See things through their eyes. They wouldn’t blame you for everything. They wouldn’t say it’s all your own fault. They wouldn’t say you’re stupid and you ought to have done things differently. They wouldn’t judge.
Being a best friend, they would be compassionate, caring, non-judgemental, loving, nurturing.
How many times do we treat ourselves like this though? Instead, we are often our own harshest critics. Again, try to take a step back. In so-doing it might also become a little easier to be more gentle with others too. You might find yourself cutting people a bit of slack – we’re all just doing the best we can in the best way we know how.
 
And five practical things that perhaps might be a little easier to put into practise!

 
5. Remember that social media isn’t the real world and what you see portrayed is the version of events that someone else wants to convey. Again, this links back to the stories we tell ourselves and make up about others.
 
6. Go for a walk or a run, go to the gym, go for a swim – anything that gets you out there being active.
 
7. Take time out, even just five minutes, to step away from emails and texts, take a few deep breaths, stop, and simply recharge your batteries.
 
8. Do something you enjoy every day – whether it’s reading a book, playing with your dog, reading to your children, watching a film, going for a drive.
 
9. Get out of yourself and do something for someone else – phone a friend, do some shopping for an elderly neighbour, put some change into a charity box.
 
All of these things help you to experience life in more of a balanced way instead of getting caught up in worry and sadness.
If you’d like further help in dealing with stress, anxiety, or depression do please get in touch.
 
Happy 2017!
 

rmbhypnotherapy@aol.com
Rachel’s mobile at RMB Hypnotherapy - 07733 839 591
Central England Therapy Centre - 0121 444 1110

 
 

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5 'mores' of Mindfulness.

7/1/2016

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Mindfulness words and candle
There are many benefits of practising mindfulness regularly. Most people, nowadays, are aware of the fact that mindfulness can be a way to achieve a more relaxed sense of well-being, a way of helping overcome patterns of negative thinking, whether that thinking is based in the past or the future.
 
However, there are a number of ‘side effects’ that mindfulness can bring to a person’s everyday life. Here, I’ll outline 5 ‘mores’ of mindfulness, all helping you to achieve a better quality of life:
 
1. Mindfulness can make you more curious.
When we focus on a specific thought or emotion or sensation, we can train ourselves to ask ‘What is going on here?’ or ‘What is this trying to tell me?’ or ‘I wonder what might happen next?’ So often in life we become a slave to what we feel, both physically and emotionally. We get caught up in reacting to whatever’s happening without a second thought. And if this is a particularly stressful situation, it can lead to a negative spiralling out of control.
Just taking a moment or two to step aside, almost as if looking in on the situation from the outside, being curious about things, opens up the possibility of new potential outcomes that perhaps had never even crossed your mind before.
 
2. Mindfulness can make you more grateful.
Mindfulness often encourages us to focus on the small, subtle details of life, those that we might ordinarily be completely unaware of. We can focus on the intricacies of a flower petal, all the subtle aromas concealed within a cup of coffee, a warm relaxed sensation in our hands, a gentle sleepiness behind our eyes, or the thought of the smile of a loved one. When we spend a little time doing this, seeing things as though for the first time, we’re less likely to take things for granted and more likely to experience the beauty in the everyday.
 
3. Mindfulness can make you more accepting.
Contrary to popular belief, mindfulness is not about living a wonderfully relaxed way of life with no upsets and a clear mind. Instead, it is about coming to terms with the fact that life happens – and some of it’s good and some of it’s rubbish, but it’s all part of being human and being alive in this very moment. No-one has a perfect life where everything is hunky-dory. Everyone experiences sadness, happiness, stress, relaxation, guilt, anger, joy and love. Noticing that all of these things ebb and flow over time, increasing and decreasing in intensity, makes it a little easier to accept things when they happen.
 
4. Mindfulness can make you more compassionate.
We’re all in this together. We’re all trying to do the best we can. We can all love others and be loved ourselves. We can all upset others and be upset ourselves. We can all help and be helped, laugh and make laugh, hurt and be hurt, judge and be judged.
When someone crosses us, we automatically go on the defence. And sometimes the way we defend ourselves is to attack back, whether it be through an unkind word or a thoughtless action. Noticing when we might react like this and asking whether it’s really the best thing to do helps us to see things differently. As a result, we might even start to see things from the other’s point of view, beginning to understand why someone said or did something, feeling empathy towards them.
We are also much more able to understand how everybody, every animal, every plant, every thing in the world is doing the best they know how to be whoever or whatever they are, and that that’s ok. We all have our place in the world.
 
5. Mindfulness can make you more at ease.
Mindfulness is all about living in the present moment and noticing what’s going on right at that very moment, whether it be in our thoughts, emotions, our breathing, our senses or our physical sensations. Becoming more of an observer of these things instead of automatically reacting with them, to be curious about what’s going on instead of automatically jumping to conclusions, and to be more compassionate towards ourselves as well as others, can help us to become more at ease.
As I said before, mindfulness does not make the bad stuff in life disappear, and nor should it. It just helps us to become more of a yacht cutting through the waves rather than a dinghy being tossed around by them.
 
If you’d like more information about the benefits of mindfulness and how it works please visit my website at
www.rmbhypnotherapy.com
 
If you’d like to experience mindfulness for yourself, please feel free to book in to one of our weekly group sessions (Wednesdays 7.15-8.15) at Central England Holistic Therapy Centre, Alcester Road, Kings Heath. Call 0121 444 1110 to book your place or visit
www.blueskymind.org.uk
 
 
 
 
 

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Get mind-fit, ready for Christmas!

29/11/2015

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Christmas shoppers
Christmas is often a very emotionally charged time of the year, for all sorts of reasons.
Although it’s always conveyed in films and the media as such a happy and joyous occasion, it often has very different connotations for each and every one of us. We think we’re supposed to be perfect, organised, relaxed and happy at this time of year – you only have to switch on the television to see portrayals of smiley, happy families, sitting around a dining table that’s heaving with perfectly cooked food; children receiving the perfect gifts; everybody having a good time; it’s even snowing most of the time (perfect, white fluffy snow to provide the perfect backdrop for perfectly-lit Christmas trees, Christmas lights and reindeer).
It’s amazing really, how much of this made-up reality we still really expect!

In reality, there are all sorts of things that will inevitably stop this time of year being perfect for so many of us:


- financial worries
- having to get along with family with whom we perhaps don’t always have the greatest of relationships
- fitting in so many social engagements, that we would perhaps not usually choose to do
- or conversely, seeing everyone else out ‘enjoying themselves’ whilst we are stuck at home for whatever reason (family commitments, illness, finances etc); feeling as though we’re the only ones being left out
- feeling the need to do so much extra shopping – for gifts, food, drink, and all the trimmings
- feeling, for whatever reason, as though we don’t fit into the ‘norm’
- missing people who are away from home at Christmas or loved ones who have died
- mid-winter blues and/or Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
- exhaustion
- anxiety and depression centred around excessive commercialism
- shame, guilt, and feeling as though we’re failures if we don’t live up to perceived expectations
- feeling as though everything has to be crammed into a few days!
- the list goes on…


All of these factors can have very real side-effects:

- tension headaches

- muscle fatigue
- excessive drinking
- mood swings
- comfort eating
- insomnia
- to name but a few… sometimes leading to more serious mental health problems in the short-term or in the long-run.


Using various techniques such as NLP Coaching, Mindfulness and, of course, Hypnotherapy, you can help yourself to feel more empowered at this time of the year, feeling more in control and less at the whim of what films, television and other people seem to demand of you.
If you take the opportunity now, in the run-up to Christmas, to take back control of the more hindering patterns of behaviour and thinking, it might just make a positive difference.
 
Here are a few tips that might help at this time of the year:
 
Notice the needless pressures
Take just a moment or two to step back from the pressures to be a certain way, or do certain things. You might begin to realise how we’re constantly ‘hypnotised’ by advertising and by the pressures others put upon us. What’s really important to you and your loved ones? Is it really that important to you to go to the annual corporate staff party, seeing people you already see all day every day anyway? Or would you genuinely prefer to spend the time at home with family and special friends of your choosing? Is it more important to throw the party extravaganza of the year or simply to have a few friends round for a few friendly drinks? Also, try to notice how many times you get (for want of a better expression) ‘bullied’ into doing these things or risk being seen as ‘a Scrooge’ or ‘Grinch’ if you don’t. Instead of getting swept along with what everyone else wants, this standing back and taking notice on purpose can enable you to make more enjoyable choices for you which will inevitably lead to a far happier and more relaxed time for everyone involved.
 
Notice your thought patterns
Many of us fool ourselves into thinking that this year we’ll have the perfect Christmas. And then we end up saying things like “All I want to do is relax and enjoy it but I don’t have the time,” because usually we’re too busy trying to make everything perfect!
Also realise that most people are in exactly the same boat as you – despite the fact that they might be trying to fool everyone else into thinking that they’re having a perfect time too!
Just noticing these things, and similar, going on in your thoughts can help to make a positive difference. It puts a little bit of space between you and what you’re thinking, which can feel very liberating.
 
Spread things out
Often, we try to cram so much into so few days. So instead of trying to see everyone at Christmas, why not make a date now for sometime in the new year when everyone is perhaps feeling a little less stressed and has more time? Organise a day out with special friends in January for a change; make a note in your new diary of catching up with someone during one of the weekends after Christmas. Often, during the time immediately after Christmas some people can feel a little low – the days are still very short, the weather’s less than appealing… and you don’t have Christmas to look forward to! So having something booked in to look forward to can make a huge difference – and it helps to spread things out a bit and take the pressure off too.
 
Remember you're only human
Remember that being human involves negative emotions too. No-one can be constantly happy, even at Christmas. And, in a way, that’s ok. Emotions come and go, just like Christmases.
Often, because we feel the pressures of having to ‘put on a happy front’, we end up feeling even worse. Not many of us have perfect lives. Many of us are having to contend with anxieties and depressions concerning all sorts of different things that are personal to us.
We might be dealing with bereavement, long term illness (ourselves or loved ones), unemployment, debt, emotional or physical abuse, redundancy… So try to go easy on yourself.
 
Plan in advance
No, I‘m not talking about making lists of things to do and people to see (although these can really help to make you feel more in control). I’m talking about thinking in advance of potential pitfalls that could jeopardise your happiness at this time of the year. For example, if you’ve recently given up smoking or are cutting down on alcohol, then it might be a good idea to think of all the potential triggers that might crop up – you know what they are for you. Even feeling social anxiety can be eased by thinking in advance of what things trigger certain reactions and what action you can take to help the way you feel. Christmas is a time for comfort eating too, and the pounds can soon pile on, so just being aware of any potential triggers, and having a back-up plan just in case can help to ease things a little and make you feel more confident in the choices you make.
 
The holidays can (and should) be a rejuvenating time of year but often it takes a little organisation and forward planning of the things that are going on inside our own heads to make a difference.
 
And as I said, NLP Coaching, Mindfulness and Hypnotherapy can all make a difference in helping us to feel more in control of what’s going on inside our own heads.
 
Please get in touch if you’d like to find out more:
Email Rachel at rmbhypnotherapy@aol.com
Or call 07733 839 591







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What's your story?

31/10/2015

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What's your story? Books.
Did you know that the lives we create for ourselves are all based on stories? The stories we make up about ourselves, the many different characters we play and the scenarios we act out. A narrative we constantly create.
 
Our brains are wonderful instruments that naturally construct stories, giving structure and meaning to our lives. With the evolution of language, came the wherewithal to define who we are – and all that that entails. Stories promote a systemic thinking – they tell us who we are, where we’ve come from and where we’re going.
 
There is even a branch of psychology, namely Narrative Psychology, that deals with the stories we give ourselves and encompasses those we hear from others too.
And there’s a well-known saying in NLP: “The map is not the territory.” In other words, we all live in the same world (the map) but we all see and experience that world very differently (my ‘territory’ will be completely different from yours).
 
The trouble is, we forget that our life-stories are just that, simply stories. We tend to take our own personal stories as fact. We also take the stories of others as fact, as if we really know what makes them tick – and, of course, 9 times out of 10 we have no idea.
So much of our joys and our pains come from what we tell ourselves – how we see ourselves and how we think others see us; and all the judgements we make, whether we realise it or not.
 
The boy who thinks he’s ugly - because someone made an off the cuff remark years ago – continues to think he’s unattractive years later.
The child who, once upon a time, was told they couldn’t draw, will believe they are hopeless at art.
It has become part of ‘their story’, part of who they are. It helps to define them, whether they like it or not.
 
As a result, our own life-narrative (or parts of it at least) can be self-limiting, debilitating even, defining who we are in a negative way throughout our lives.
 
The great thing about hypnosis is that it works with these stories, with people’s imaginations, with their perceived experiences and has the capacity  to transform all of these by gently erasing a few sentences that are no longer needed, or adding in a paragraph where appropriate – some vital information that was perhaps there all along but the ink had faded a little over time. The direction the story takes from then on can be much more positive, if we so wish. We can even add pages to chapters yet to come, seeing the future more as how we actually wish it to be. And we can create whole chapters or a whole new volume, depending on what we desire.
Our own life stories, or rather seeing ourselves as the authors of our own life stories can, therefore, be incredibly self-empowering.
 
By understanding how we create our own internal narrative in the first place, and how we have come to structure it, if need be we can begin to rewrite our own experiences, giving ourselves a different beginning, middle and end to this or that particular chapter. We can even begin to see things that happened in the past a little differently – the end result being that we may become a little more gentle with ourselves and with others.
 
Remember that your life story is constantly changing and that you have more control over the various options than you might have previously imagined.
 
So… what would you like your story to be? What is the next chapter going to reveal?
 
Happy Writing!
Rachel
 
If you’d like more information on how hypnotherapy can help, do please get in touch.
 

rmbhypnotherapy@aol.com
07733 839 591

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The 7 Attitudes of Mindfulness

30/9/2015

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Mindfulness Signpost
What is mindfulness? Some people think it’s all about trying to empty your mind. Thankfully for me, this is far from the truth! We all have thoughts. Constantly! And we often have the same kinds of thoughts over and over and over again. When we are being mindful, we recognise what is going on in the present moment whether that’s in our thought patterns, our emotions, the sounds we can hear or the smells we are aware of…
 
Jon Kabat-Zinn (who set up the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Clinic in Massachusetts) says that, put simply, mindfulness is:
 
“paying attention to the present moment, in a particular way, without judgement.”
 
If we spend too much time thinking about the future, we are more prone to experience anxiety.
 
If we spend too much time having thoughts based in the past, we are more likely to suffer with symptoms of depression.
 
When we centre ourselves firmly in the present, experiencing all that that has to offer whether we perceive it as good or bad, we tend not to experience the symptoms of anxiety or depression. Instead, through simply having an awareness of what is going on right now - whether that be in our thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, or sensory perceptions such as sounds and smells - we come to realise that we are more in control of our own ‘now’, our own present moment, than anyone else or any external situation could ever possibly be.
 
There are 7 attitudes to mindfulness that underline the whole of our mindful practise whether that is during a formal meditation or during our everyday lives, for example while having a conversation, making a meal, having a shower, brushing our teeth, driving or whatever.
Whatever we find ourselves doing, these 7 attitudes can help to underline a more gentle acceptance - a gentle acceptance of ourselves, of others, and of situations.
 
1. Non-judgement – we constantly form judgements. Once you undertake a mindfulness practice you may start to recognise when and how often you form these judgements. This obviously seems fine when you judge something as good. But stress may ensue when you judge something as bad. When you accept that life is full of ups and downs… when you accept things as just being the way they are, stress tends to dissipate more easily. To quote Jon Kabat-Zinn once again, “you can’t stop the waves but you can learn how to surf”. Life happens and sometimes you just have to go with the flow.
 
2. Patience – allowing things to unfold in their own time… bringing patience to ourselves and to others. No amount of stress or anger will make the red light change any quicker to green. No amount of stress or anger or impatience will get any job done more quickly or more efficiently – so sit back and notice how things happen in their own good time. Or even simply notice the times when you are feeling impatient - and also notice how this feeling passes in its own good time. Take things easy-like and things tend to get done more easily.
 
3. Beginner’s Mind – this is simply seeing the world as a child would. When was the last time you really took time to notice the smell, texture and taste of a meal? When was the last time you really noticed what someone was saying to you instead of clouding a conversation with judgements or preconceived ideas? Our minds often tell us that they think they know more than they actually do. We let our beliefs about situations, about ourselves, and about others prevent us from seeing things as they truly are - in the present moment.
 
4. Trust – trust in ourselves and trust in our own basic wisdom. If something doesn’t feel right for you personally, then a basic premise of mindfulness is that you attend to it in whatever way does feel right for you. We can be responsible only for ourselves. Ultimately, it is us who have to live our lives. No-one else can do that for us.
 
5. Non-striving – goals, targets, and predicted achievements are all based in the future, introducing conditions that don’t allow you to be fully present with what is right now. In mindfulness practise, remember to allow anything and everything that you experience from moment to moment to simply be there - because it already is. If you are tense… pay attention to the tension. If you find yourself criticizing yourself, just observe the activity of the judging mind. Simply noticing what is really going on in any given moment – listening to the signals and messages your body is trying to convey all the time – helps you to make the right choices at the right time.
 
6. Acceptance – a simple openness to seeing and acknowledging things as they are. This does not mean approval or resignation. It simply means acceptance. One thing that is a true constant is change. Everything changes. We change. Other people change. Situations change. Accepting that things, people, situations, thoughts and emotions never stay the same helps us to live moment by moment.
 
7. Letting go – cultivating a non-attachment. Letting go is a way of letting things be. Let go of that hurtful conversation that took place years ago – it’s not happening now and hearing it over and over again in your mind never really helps. Let go of those ruminating thoughts that clutter up your mind at work and notice what is really going on. Simply noticing when you are attached to things, situations, people or emotions (whether they are perceived as good or bad) can help make you feel more in control. Just be aware of what you’re holding on to.
 
So mindfulness is not about clearing your mind. Instead, it’s about being more aware. Falling awake not falling asleep.
 
“Mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment, in a particular way, without judgement.”



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4 tried and tested techniques that complement my hypnotherapist’s toolbox

31/7/2015

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Hypnosis by itself can be incredibly powerful. However, there are other techniques that I use in tandem with hypnosis, depending on your specific issue and the desired results. Here I’m going to be outlining four of them:

1. EMDR – Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing

This is an extremely effective technique that has been proven to work with all sorts of issues but especially those concerning some sort of trauma. It has been used successfully in helping people with post-traumatic stress disorder and is based on repeating side to side movements of the eyes. It is based on the idea that traumatic events can ‘clog’ the neural pathways in the brain and once clogged it is difficult to move on. However, the simple procedure involving these simple eye movements while focusing on the issue needed to be resolved can help to un-clog these neural pathways. EMDR can be very effective and may work extremely quickly.

2. EFT – Emotional Freedom Technique

EFT involves ‘tapping’ on various points of the body. These points are related to the meridians or energy centres of the body. When carried out in a set pattern, whilst focusing on the issue at hand, remarkable results can be achieved. Again, as with so many of these techniques, it can be used on a wide variety of issues and is often utilised when dealing with cravings, fears and phobias. 

3. NLP
– Neuro-linguistic Programming
(What is NLP Coaching?)

NLP is a method of changing the patterns our brains may have become accustomed to through changing the way we communicate with ourselves and others. The language we use, and encounter, on a day to day basis is incredibly powerful, and can be utilised for positive outcomes if we so wish. Techniques in NLP are often incorporated into the hypno-therapeutic process and work well when dealing with all sorts of issues. 

4. Mindfulness
(Mindfulness Now)

(Issues that Mindfulness may help with)

(Try mindfulness for yourself right now)


Mindfulness is about centring ourselves in the present moment. It is not about escaping our fears but, instead, is about facing whatever is going on right now. It is about having a gentle compassion for ourselves, while accepting all that makes this moment completely unique. Mindfulness has been used literally for thousands of years, and has its roots in Buddhist traditions. These traditions have shed light on many contemporary psychological conditions and have been adapted to help especially with issues surrounding depression and anxiety.


 
Relaxing and letting various suggestions wash over you is a very powerful part of hypnotherapy. However, these other techniques complement hypnosis beautifully. And sometimes it’s difficult to say which technique is being used at any one time because they merge into one another so well and have the same basic aim – to help you to make a change of some sort – whether that’s feeling happier and more relaxed, dealing with a phobia, feeling more confident, or losing a habit… 

I always have a full client intake interview (which sounds very grand – it’s basically a good old chat to see what you’d like help with) when I start to work with anyone coming to me for the first time. Then I can be sure of choosing the most suitable methods and techniques for that particular person and their particular issue. 

If you’ve read this and are wondering whether to try hypnotherapy for yourself, why not give me a call on 07733 839 591 or drop me a line at rmbhypnotherapy@aol.com. Or check out the rest of the website www.rmbhypnotherapy.com for more information and testimonials from satisfied clients. 

Thanks!
Rachel

 

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Is Institutional Logic being left unquestioned?

3/6/2015

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I’ve just watched a local news programme where the issue of stress amongst teaching staff was being discussed. Ofsted had been quoted as ‘advising head teachers that they should be helping their staff to manage their workload more appropriately,” or words to that effect.

Earlier on in the day, I’d been at a meeting with eleven other hypnotherapists where a lot of the discussion had centred around the idea that unless the root cause of a problem is at least acknowledged (inwardly or outwardly), then the solution might always be evasive.

In a way, it’s a good thing (for me) that stress continues to ensue in schools – I have had clients who are primary and secondary school teachers, and adult education tutors, coming to me for various stress/work-related issues; and children (usually presenting with an issue that has anxiety as a root cause) again spanning the primary and secondary age range. So, for me, it means more business. But at some point, I feel, the education system has got to sit up and take note of the fact that there needs to be a huge shift in its logic, of some sort. Otherwise people like me will continue to be needed to put sticking plasters on problems whose causes run much, much deeper than an ‘inability to manage workload appropriately.’  

And, of course, it’s not just the education system. 

It seems that life is no longer there to be lived and enjoyed but instead it’s there so you can ‘achieve the best’ you possibly can. To strive towards goals that constantly move further away, out of your reach. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for ‘doing my best’ and achieving results – being a hypnotherapist, I depend on people getting results and making changes. However, is this really the most important thing, all of the time? After all, there are so many different ways in which we can all be successful. 

A recent conversation in one of my mindfulness groups springs to mind. We were talking about the ‘rat-race’. Have you ever sat back and thought “What’s it all for?” You go out to work, to pay the bills, in order for you to be able to live in a nice house, that you rarely get to see, because you’re always out at work, in order to pay the bills, to live in a nice house… It makes you think. 

Some authorities think that a lot of illness and disease in today’s world can be traced back to stress and anxiety (suggestions for books on this and other related subjects can be found here). Our bodies were not designed to have stress hormones surging through them on a constant loop. They were equipped to deal with a sudden threat and then recover. In the natural world, some animals shake continually for a few minutes after being chased by a predator to rid themselves of all the stress chemicals. Then they get up and carry on as if nothing had ever happened. Let’s face it, generally speaking the human race isn’t brilliant at dealing with stress. It’s gives itself too much… and then doesn’t know how to deal with it.

I’m constantly aware that, as a teacher of mindfulness and a clinical hypnotherapist, I am often helping people to deal with the stress, anxiety and depression that are, all too often, side effects of today’s ‘modern lifestyle.’ All well and good maybe, from my point of view. But wouldn’t it be good if society, as a whole, and the institutions that act as our society’s backbone, operated in such a way that we were able to be more compassionate with ourselves and with others – so we were not constantly competing against each other, not constantly having to strive to prove our worth and not always having to prove we’d done our best. The human race is naturally competitive – survival of the fittest and all that. But, at some point (and in my opinion) this competitiveness has little worth if there is not, at the same time a good deal of compassion and respect – for self and others.

I caught an episode of Thinking Allowed on Radio 4 the other day – they were discussing the ‘Happiness Industry’ and the ‘Wellness Syndrome.’
 

The presenter, Laurie Taylor, was interviewing William Davies, author of “The Happiness Industry - How the government and big business sold us health and well-being.” He is also Senior Lecturer in Politics at Goldsmiths, University of London. He outlined the fact that:

“It’s far more common for policy makers to turn to the individual and turn to their behaviour and what they can learn by way of behavioural and cognitive tips than it is to actually question some of the institutions which might actually be the source of their unhappiness in the first place.” In other words, the root causes of stress are often ignored and the individual is to blame for ‘not managing their work load properly.’

He goes on to suggest that practices such as mindfulness simply act as that much-needed sticking plaster:

 “They are also coping mechanisms which are draped over an institutional logic and a political/economic logic which effectively tells everyone that they are in a race against each other the whole time and they are going to be measured, audited, subjected to what we know are stressful practices by managers and policy makers and then take time out to practice mindfulness or whatever as a way of trying to cope with a whole institutional logic which is generally left unquestioned.” 

If you’d like to listen to the whole interview, you can do so here.  

“A whole institutional logic that is generally left unquestioned?”

I'm sure, over recent years, those questions have begun to be asked. But then, does anyone have the answers - so that the sticking plasters are no longer needed, because the wound is no longer made in the first place?

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Dragons and Daffodils                                                                           (or Why We Get So Hooked Up In Negative Thinking).

27/3/2015

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We spend so much of our time experiencing a ‘negativity bias’, would you agree?

I’ve worked with a couple of groups this week where I’ve started the session with a similar question and as soon as I’ve asked it there have been knowing looks and nodding heads. We, as a society and as individuals, are conditioned to focus on the bad stuff in life. You only have to look at the news on television for a couple of minutes to prove the point. But why should this be?

I’m guessing we all know of someone who is always capable of seeing the good in things wherever they look, and conversely, we all know of someone who continually complains. Both would say the other is not living in the real world. Most of us I reckon fall, most of the time, somewhere in between.                     

I’ve decided to coin the phrase ‘Dragons and Daffodils’ – daft, I know, and it reminds me of the name of the documentary about Elton John. But it’s in my head now and it’s there to serve a purpose.

Dragons =  provide us with stress and anxiety
Daffodils = something simple that can help lift our spirits 

We spend much of our lives focusing on the threats from the demon dragons when in reality we’re missing all the daffodils that are right under our noses.

There’s a scientific reason for this. And sometimes, when we know the reason for things, it can help us to deal with them.

Evolution may well be to blame for this one. The struggle for survival and all that.

Dragons obviously have to be kept an eye on. When you’re focusing on the dragons, you know the daffodils are there but they’ll still be there for you to enjoy tomorrow. However, if you take your eye off the dragons then they can eat you and you won’t be here to see the daffodils tomorrow. Simple. That’s why we tend to focus on the dragons in our lives for a huge amount of time. There’s always tomorrow for the daffodils.

Not only that but our brains have evolved in such a way that we like to think we can outwit the dragons using cunning, manipulation, imagination, planning – our brains have evolved to keep us safe. So if they see a perceived threat, no matter what it is, they keep us thinking about the same threat over and over again until a solution is found. Our imaginations can even make up dragons for us! Isn’t that great?!

You see, evolution doesn’t care whether we’re happy or not. It just cares about whether we survive.

Have you ever been in a stressful situation where you’ve found yourself being incapable of enjoying any of the good things in life (even though you know they’re there) until the anxiety has passed? There’s always tomorrow for the daffodils.

The trouble is that often, in today’s world, the dragons (of all shapes, sizes and colours) are always there – whether they’re ‘real’ dragons in the form of mortgages, illness, heavy workloads, deadlines… or made-up dragons in the form of imaginary conversations that don’t go well, imaginary outcomes of situations that will take place in the future, imaginary opinions that we think others have of us…


I’ve mentioned a thing called neuroplasticity a couple of times before. This is the process by which we may be able to change the very structure of our brains by focusing our attention in a particular way.


Neuroscientists have already proved that areas of the brain can increase or decrease in size, depending on how much we use them. For example, a concert pianist who has spent many years perfecting their art may have certain parts of the brain (those responsible for creativity, hand/eye co-ordination, recognition of pitch and tone etc) that have grown much larger than those found in the average person who is able to pass off ‘Chopsticks’ on the piano in the front room . Likewise, it has been proved that Buddhist monks who meditate for hours on end, day after day after day have increased brain mass in the areas responsible for calmness, compassion and humility. What people dedicate their time and attention to, whoever they are, will affect their brains.

So, all those positive thinking people in your lives have simply harnessed the power to be able to hook on to all that’s good in life – and their brains have changed as a result, almost providing a self-fulfilling prophesy – their brains have evolved to expect to experience positive things. And as a result they often will. And likewise, all those negative thinking people in your lives have simply harnessed the power to be able to hook on to all that’s negative in life – and their brains have changed as a result, again providing a self-fulfilling prophesy – their brains have evolved to expect to experience the negative things. And as a result they often will. And as I said before, most of us lie somewhere in between.

So, a focused attention may help to change the very structure of our brains and ultimately the way we perceive the world.

You can start right now. Just begin to notice the small things in life that you could be enjoying – the sound of birds outside the window, the feel of the sunshine on your face, the smile from a friend, a good programme on the television, even simply recognising the fact that you can read this right now. The more you train your brain to actively seek out things that are positive, the more you’ll begin noticing positive experiences, positive situations, and positive people. In other words, the way you perceive life will be more positive.

Also begin to notice all the times that your attention is swept away by the threat of the dragons (whether they’re actually there at that moment in time or not). Evolution will try and trick you that you don’t have a choice: focus on the negative stuff in order to survive. And that’s when you can be mindful that it doesn't always have to be that way...

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    Rachel Broomfield
    Clinical Hypnotherapist and Teacher of Mindfulness

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